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 Not too much has happened in the past little while since I updated, but I figure I can force out a couple words and let people know what’s been going on. I’ll let you get inside my head a little bit. Which is really what some people want sometimes. Recently, I caught up with an old co-star of mine; I’ll give you a hint. He’s in the photo with me. And if you don’t know that famous face, I have to say, I am really, really disappointed. Colin Farrell. As some of you might know, we did a Oliver Stone production a little while back called Alexander It wasn’t a role that I was immediately all about getting involved in. After all, when you get the script and see you are playing the part of a Macedonian General, not to mention the part of Alexander the Great’s secret lover, you get a little wary. I was. Luckily, Oliver spared me the Brokeback part of it all, and instead Colin flashes his bits when he’s bedding Bagoas and Rosario Dawson receives a pretty good fucking, too. Needless to say, I hadn’t seen Colin since the premiere of the movie all the way the hell back in 2004. I flew a lot of hours to see him in Ireland while he filmed, and once he was done we jetted it back to Los Angeles where we both have homes. Damn, it doesn’t seem that long, but I guess when you’re busy, time really flies, and you forget about the people that were most important to you. And it’s sad, because it’s only through the media coverage that you find out that people you were really good friends with are ill; addictions have plagued the industry for decades. I’ve seen a lot of people fight addiction, including my own brother, and now I guess I kind of want to beat myself up over not being there for my friends when they needed me the most. I know it’s near impossible to just pack things up and live a regular life, but when people need you, they need you. I hate to bring this up, especially for the emotional aspects of it, but it’s the best example; Heath Ledger needed someone. Badly. And he couldn’t find that person. Not one person to listen. And look what happened. We’ve lost a brilliant young man. The role didn’t make him insane; the life of a celebrity most likely did.
 Sometimes you have to sit down and take a moment to yourself, in a place that is quiet, and I don’t mean with the television on and away from the world. I mean in a place that is silent, and nothing is even moving. Where you can’t hear the traffic or the bustle of the outside world, where you can’t look out the window and see another human being, and just think. Think about where you are in life, and where you want to go. How you see yourself, and how people see you. If you are in the media limelight, you need to do this more often then you know. Taking time for you. To tell yourself that you aren’t that cheating douchebag that the media makes you out to be. They catch you on a bad day? Then you’re on drugs, you are drinking, you are breaking up families, or you have an eating disorder. It’s hard to keep a grip sometimes, to tell yourself that they are doing this just because they want to take you down a peg. The fame really used to affect me. Now I meditate because I used to not be able to sneeze without someone writing about it. Sometimes it’s better to hide inside yourself for a little while. Know that this is who I really am, and this is the life I’ve chosen to live, no matter how hard it can get.
 The hunt is on for a new record label. We’ve written over sixty songs and now everything is just on a break. And this is going to get a little cryptic, and probably start a couple rumours, but I really couldn’t care. Post them in my Friends Only, I’ll let you know what I think and what I mean.
I was perfectly fine under the moon and the stars; I prefer to be wrapped up in the night, anyway. I hope you saw that I was happy; the Gods smiled on us that night. And in those eyes I saw forever, something I’ve never seen before. And maybe it wasn’t forever, maybe it was just for now, but it’s okay if I feel forever in my heart. I lost my fear of falling. Promise me that when I’m gone you’ll kill my enemies. If I keep holding my breath I’m going to disappear. And I don’t mean to quote myself but this is Year Zero, it is hard to know as the dark ends up killing thunder. And we’re the perfect enemy of God, a secret wrapped in bedsheets and fortune faded. And you weren’t the only one that conquered my thighs, but you conquered my heart. Like a dear listening in the wind, you strike me still. (Because I can’t come up with any other way to explain to you that my heart beats faster when you are around, other then remembering my lines from a movie.) I am nothing without you.
And I would stand
Stand by your side
Until the sun turns the sky
All the colors I see in your eyes
I'll never need to see the sun again
There's enough light in your eyes
To light up our little world
So take me
Take me away
Kill me slowly
This Flesh A Tomb – Atreyu
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